did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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