Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
