I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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