You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
