He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
