I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No subtext here. People are naked.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
