This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
