You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize