guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
