Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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