I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
