babies were throwing up all over the place
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize