I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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