My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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