UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My cat gives me a boner
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
