He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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