y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
