i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
