ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
