The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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