he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
