is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
