Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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