I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
