And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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