Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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