I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
