Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
