Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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