..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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