Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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