but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How does one acquire holy water?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
