my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
