Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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