Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
