I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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