office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
