Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
God I need to hump something, right now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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