We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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