ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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