plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
