Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
