I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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