Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
