he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
