how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
