Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
