5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
