woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize