I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
