Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
