i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
