i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
