I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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