so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
