I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
