You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
