lets start a swedish sibling band together
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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