He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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