Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize