I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
