I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
