when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
