i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
