Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
